TRUE

Have you ever been told something that you knew without a shadow of a doubt wasn’t true? I write this with my heart pounding and nearly shaking because I was told something that isn’t true, not the truth, not genuine, actual or real. That’s actually the definition of TRUE according to Webster (side note, do people even use the word Webster anymore or does that date me, should I have said according to Google);

TRUE : Existing in fact and not merely as a possibility, genuine, actual, real. 

I just happen to immediately after hearing this untruth, see Gary V on LinkedIn give his Dad props for the most important advice he ever received…. Your Word is your Bond.

I live by that. If you are not a person of your word, who are you and why wouldn’t you want to be? At the end of our tomorrows, we may be a bit of our hard work but ultimately, we are our character and at the root of that character is the truth that comes out of our mouth or our fingers, if we’ve typed it. Our character, our truth is passed on to our children and family and friends. It is who you are not just in your personal life but also in your work life, you can not separate the two and if you think you can, you have a problem with being true.

It just so happens that TRUE is my 2019 word of the year, because I’m working not on being more truthful but being TRULY ME and not accepting half of me because others couldn’t handle all of me.

I teach three year old’s on Sunday morning at our church and teach is a loose word, I do a lot of corralling and laughing because they are hilarious but our verse this month happens to be,

“Whoever can be trusted with very little, can also be trusted with much.” ~ Luke 16:10 .

Listen, you don’t have to be a bible believing human being to know that is a universal truth. When you are a person who is truthful and trustworthy with the basics, you are then given more to be trusted with. On the flip side of that, if you are someone who is not truthful and trustworthy in the little things, it’s going to be real tough to be trusted in the big stuff.

So what do you do when someone is not being truthful? Do you call them out? Do you ignore it? Do you passive aggressively figure out a way to point it out to them? Maybe, Maybe, and No. Sometimes it’s worth calling someone out, sometimes it’s not and hey, passive aggressive is never a solution!

In this case, for me, it’s one more of a very long line of half truths, broken promises and non-truths and has forever changed my relationship with this person. It has solidified what I already knew and there will be a day when I can communicate in love, how this person might have handled our relationship differently. Not because it will make me feel better or somehow it will change the past, but my hope is that it will change how he/she treats people in the future. Because I will be truthful in how I exit the relationship and we all owe that to ourselves, to walk away in our truth without regrets.

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS be a person of your word, never leave any doubt that someone would question if what you are telling them is the truth…they will already know you are a person of your word. #BeTrue #BeHonest #BeYou

 

There is no TEAM without first ‘I’

We hear it from the time we are little, there is no ‘I’ in TEAM, so it’s ingrained into us to be humble, don’t take the credit, it’s not about you. When we succeed, we succeed together or it’s not a success. This blog goes out in particular to all of my fellow female co-workers getting run over and side stepped because they didn’t put the ‘I’ in. They forgot as they lead teams, collaborate and communicate to say, “Hey, I did that, and I’m really proud of it!” Is this you? Are you too, finding that although you’ve been an integral part of making something great happen, you cared so much about not making it about you that in turn; you got zero credit, others stepped in and took the credit and the people that need to know what you’re capable of, don’t??

This article doesn’t have the answers, this is an ongoing issue in my life and I’ve hit a few realizations that maybe I’m not the only one. I’m a big reader, I love to read and mostly love to read non-fiction business books. I eat them up! If I have one, two, even three take away’s, it’s worth it to me. Every leadership book, I read says, “give the team credit”, “don’t make it about you”, “that wouldn’t be possible without empowering your team” “you couldn’t do it all on your own”. And ALL of that is true! But you know what else is true, every good team has a leader. There’s a coach, a quarter back, a point guard, a captain, and the list goes on. Every team has key players and the game couldn’t be played without the entire team and it is also true that one of the key people is the person who is the catalyst, without them the team wouldn’t have accomplished what they did in the manner that they did. I recently was at a conference and heard Peyton Manning speak (if you don’t know who he is, a football great, look him up), now he’s a team leader, he spoke of the turning point in his career in which he was failing, what was said to him to turn it around and what he did. He takes credit for being a learning leader. One who is always thinking beyond himself but acknowledging that he ‘LED’ the teams he was on to do great things. If you are one of those leaders, stand up! Say, “I’m the leader and that (game, initiative, roll out, product, sale, insert your expertise) wouldn’t have been the same without me.” Stand up and say, “I juggled a lot of balls to make sure that this happened on time.” Stand up and say, “I led my team and I led them well in this.”

And why don’t we just stand up and say those things? Are we afraid of coming across as arrogant? I know I am. Yet, it’s cost me. Coming across too humble in the corporate world and not standing up and giving yourself credit leads to others having no idea what you are truly capable of. I once read the book, “What Men Don’t Tell Women About Business” by Christoper Flett, it’s been a long time and the need for a reread is in order. Because as females in business, we sometimes sabotage and undermine ourselves without even realizing it, and when we do realize it, it’s often too late.

My other blogs are full of 1, 2, 3’s and solutions for you, today, what I have to offer is this, a solution for myself; one that I’m doing to change the awareness around my leadership, what I am doing, how I am leading my team, and what I can be capable of.

  1. Get Chris’s book and read it. I’ll be pulling it off the shelf and rereading it.
  2. The next time I’ve done something, I’m going to commit to myself to say to my fellow leaders,”I led my team to do this great thing. I pulled together the resources, got the right people’s buy in, and enabled us to succeed together.” Yes, I did that and I’m going to stand up and say so.

I hope you will too.