Have you ever been told something that you knew without a shadow of a doubt wasn’t true? I write this with my heart pounding and nearly shaking because I was told something that isn’t true, not the truth, not genuine, actual or real. That’s actually the definition of TRUE according to Webster (side note, do people even use the word Webster anymore or does that date me, should I have said according to Google);

TRUE : Existing in fact and not merely as a possibility, genuine, actual, real. 

I just happen to immediately after hearing this untruth, see Gary V on LinkedIn give his Dad props for the most important advice he ever received…. Your Word is your Bond.

I live by that. If you are not a person of your word, who are you and why wouldn’t you want to be? At the end of our tomorrows, we may be a bit of our hard work but ultimately, we are our character and at the root of that character is the truth that comes out of our mouth or our fingers, if we’ve typed it. Our character, our truth is passed on to our children and family and friends. It is who you are not just in your personal life but also in your work life, you can not separate the two and if you think you can, you have a problem with being true.

It just so happens that TRUE is my 2019 word of the year, because I’m working not on being more truthful but being TRULY ME and not accepting half of me because others couldn’t handle all of me.

I teach three year old’s on Sunday morning at our church and teach is a loose word, I do a lot of corralling and laughing because they are hilarious but our verse this month happens to be,

“Whoever can be trusted with very little, can also be trusted with much.” ~ Luke 16:10 .

Listen, you don’t have to be a bible believing human being to know that is a universal truth. When you are a person who is truthful and trustworthy with the basics, you are then given more to be trusted with. On the flip side of that, if you are someone who is not truthful and trustworthy in the little things, it’s going to be real tough to be trusted in the big stuff.

So what do you do when someone is not being truthful? Do you call them out? Do you ignore it? Do you passive aggressively figure out a way to point it out to them? Maybe, Maybe, and No. Sometimes it’s worth calling someone out, sometimes it’s not and hey, passive aggressive is never a solution!

In this case, for me, it’s one more of a very long line of half truths, broken promises and non-truths and has forever changed my relationship with this person. It has solidified what I already knew and there will be a day when I can communicate in love, how this person might have handled our relationship differently. Not because it will make me feel better or somehow it will change the past, but my hope is that it will change how he/she treats people in the future. Because I will be truthful in how I exit the relationship and we all owe that to ourselves, to walk away in our truth without regrets.

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS be a person of your word, never leave any doubt that someone would question if what you are telling them is the truth…they will already know you are a person of your word. #BeTrue #BeHonest #BeYou


My Expectations are Too High??

My Expectation is Your Potential

If hear I have high expectations and I might need to lower them, one more time…I might just blog about it!

How about you? Are you one of those go-getters, thought leaders, always pushing the envelope of what can be done for yourself and your team?

When I was in 5th grade, my teacher at the time, Mrs. Hawk (shout out to all the great teachers in the world!) called my parents in for a conference and told them that if I didn’t learn to make mistakes and let some things go, I was going to suffer an ulcer at an early age. Now, I should tell you that I did not have parents who were pushing me, they had no idea why I was so driven. I was born in the early 70’s and let’s just say that there were things that happened in my household growing up that may not have been of the legal sort. My parents were hippies and way more concerned about their own growing up than me achieving an ‘A’ in shape of a letter. So, my drive was internal, intrinsic and self-motivated.

Fast forward, it took me a lot of years and a lot of time and money in counseling (which would be funny if it weren’t true) to learn how to drive with realistic expectations of myself. How to have fun and let go when needed. But I won’t apologize for my intrinsic drive and I won’t stop trying to be better today than yesterday. This blog isn’t about me though and how I learned that but how does that affect my leadership today?

I’ve been told that I have “high-expectations” and that is true, sort of. The height of the expectation is dependent upon you. Not because I expect my team members to be like me or you or any other thought-leader out there. I have come to realize that my expectation for each team member is his or her own potential.

When I get new team members, I like to spend time with them and understand what makes them tick and adjust my communications to what they need. I take copious notes on each one; this one needs to talk, this one needs to be acknowledged, this one needs recognition, this one is task oriented and wants to know what to do, this one just wants to earn the ‘A’. All of this and much more for each team member. Once I understand who they are and what they need, I then ask a lot of questions about what do they want to do and be? If they could do any job in the world, even if it wasn’t with this company, what would it be and when would you be doing it? When you ask these questions you also get a feel for where to push and what their personal goals are. Then I set out to lead them down the path to their success. Not mine but what I see they can do and I see potential in every single person. I believe in where you’re headed, often more than you believe it for yourself and it drives me to do all I can to help you get there. If I can show you how you can reach your potential and you do it, then yes, you’ve met my expectations. If I can see your potential and you aren’t walking out what it takes to get there, if you are self-sabotaging, then no, you haven’t met my expectations. Simple as that, it’s not about me, it’s about you and your potential.

You see, I know where I came from and where I am today and don’t take that for granted for one minute. I know that the people in my life, the books I’ve read, the podcasts I’ve listened to, and how I’ve handled the struggles I’ve gone through; all have shaped me, grown me, stretched me and helped me to daily reach my potential. And none of that was comfortable, none of it was fun at the moment, well actually, there were a few roller coasters business moments that were fun, but they have all been worth the ride!

So the next time someone is pushing you, stretching you, helping you to grow and you think, ”He/She has such high expectations.” Maybe think to yourself instead, they see that much potential in me!